There are some aspects of your life that are Sacred. The dictionary defines the word “Sacred” as “something that is holy and deserving respect; too important to be changed; something connected with Divinity“
I often meet people who spend large amounts of energy in trying to deal with opinions, suggestions and solutions. These opinions and suggestions are especially hard to keep out when it comes from family and loved ones. They usually come in the garb of, “we care for you and that is why we want you to do this…“
Well, in this post I wish to list out some aspects of our life that I consider sacred. And I believe it is important to recognise that these aspects are quite personal. Therefore :
a) You are not obligated to open up these aspects of your life for discussion.
b) You are definitely not bound to justify, defend or explain yourself in these aspects of your life beyond a certain point.
c) And most importantly, build a nice & thick filter around these areas of your life, to keep out unsolicited advice and words of concern. Do not take in anything unless you want to take it in.
1. YOUR BODY
Has to be the first thing on the list. You are not answerable to anybody about why you are too fat, too thin, too dark, too pale, too short, too hairy, too big or anything else. Maybe you have dark circles, maybe you are greying/balding at the age of 25, maybe your teeth are misaligned, maybe your body is a mess. You do not need to take any unsolicited opinion, comment or solution directed at your body. Your body is yours. And it is sacred.
2. YOUR MIND
The way you feel is your way of feeling. Maybe you are “too emotional”. Maybe you are “emotionless”. Maybe you are “crazy”. Maybe you are “mad”. Well that is who you are! Own it. Take responsibility for it.
You need to do something about the mind ONLY if YOU feel you wish to do something about your mind and your emotions. Your Mind is sacred.
3. YOUR SEXUALITY
Maybe you are “too girly” for a boy. Maybe you are “too masculine” for a woman. Maybe you don’t follow the normative sexual preferences. Maybe you don’t really feel like the gender that your body is recognised to be. Maybe you value virginity a lot. Maybe you don’t link virginity with any kind of morality or value-system. Maybe you have a huge sexual-drive. Maybe you are asexual. Maybe you feel a lot of shame around your sexuality. Maybe your body looks less sexual than you would have liked it to be. Maybe your genitalia are too big or too small. Maybe you haven’t had sex even after your marriage. Maybe you have sex “outside” of your marriage.
Your sexuality is completely yours. Nobody has the right to question it. It is sacred.
4. YOUR CAREER
Maybe you want to quit your job. Maybe you want to drop your career right at its peak and take to organic farming. Maybe you want to take a break from your career for a few years. Maybe you want to retire already.
Your career is also your own. What you do with it is your choice alone. Your career is sacred.
5. YOUR FINANCES
Maybe you like to blow all your money. Maybe you give all your money to your parents/spouse for safekeeping. Maybe you think a hundred times before you spend your money. Maybe money doesn’t mean much to you. Maybe you are living off of your parents’ wealth. Maybe you are a millionaire who wants to earn more. Maybe money is the only thing that drives you in life. Maybe you have made poor financial choices and are still struggling with finances. Maybe you are all for charity and donations. Maybe you are all for saving and investments.
Your finances are your own. Your finances are sacred.
6. YOUR LIFE-CHOICES
You might want to stay single all your life. You might want to stay married all your life. You might want to have many many children or maybe none at all. You might want to get yourself tattooed and inked-up. You might want to cut your hair, heck even shave your head. You might want to have some casual sex. You might want to abort your pregnancy. You might want to change your religion and your Gods. You might want to home-school your kids. You might want to wear that sexy outfit. You might want to donate your sperm or your kidney. You might want to party all night.
Your life-choices are personal. Your life-choices are sacred.
7. YOUR FREEDOM & INDEPENDENCE
Discovery of your self can perhaps authentically begin only after you have created some kind of freedom and independence for yourself. But who is to decide what is freedom and independence for you? Maybe you find freedom in being in a relationship. Maybe you find freedom outside of a relationship. Maybe Independence is to be in charge of your finances. Maybe Independence is to not have to think about finances and allow your partner or someone else do it for you.
Your journey to Freedom and Independence are your own. It is sacred.
8. YOUR SPIRITUALITY
Maybe your spirituality comes from your religion. Maybe your spirituality comes from the rituals your parents taught you. Maybe your spirituality comes from deep meditations, reflections and introspection. Maybe your spirituality comes from self-development and self-help. Maybe your spirituality has nothing to do with God and the Meta.
Your spirituality is yours. And it is sacred.
The spirit of this post is to encourage healthy and respectful boundaries in our relationships. It would be quite impossible for us to shut these aspects of our life from others. But it would be very important to also not allow others to walk all over these aspects of your life.
Needless to say, while you honour your sacred life, it is also a matter of conscious practice to honour others’ sacred life and uphold those boundaries for them as well.