"I've never told anyone about this before..." I hear this line often when people come to speak to me in the therapy room. And I hear them say those words with a lot of trepidation, and nervousness. Over the years, I have come to realise that there is a lot hidden in this one statement... Continue Reading →
I am not traumatised!
"My parents beat me up as a child, but I am not traumatized," said the man whose ex-partner reported him for physical violence. "When I was a child they left me alone, crying, until I fell asleep. I was not allowed to go out at all," said the man who as an adult spends long... Continue Reading →
WHY ME???
"WHY ME?" This is the most natural question to come in to our minds when we go through a very painful experience. Pain has this uncanny knack of getting us to stop in our tracks and question everything that is happening around us. "Why is this happening to me?" "Why do I only have to... Continue Reading →
I Am Not Good Enough!
A lot of people deeply believe that they are not good enough. "I am not good enough!", they say. According to me this is a trap. It can sometimes make a person feel like it is almost impossible to get out of this feeling. For most of us who feel we are not good enough, our... Continue Reading →
The Death-Wish
Many of us die even before our bodies are dead. Our bodies go through the motions of life, but our spirit is not really living. Some are absolutely dead inside, some are partially dead.
Confused about my marriage…
Question : I feel I am in an extremely draining marriage. My husband is NEVER there for me physically or emotionally. I feel there is hardly a marriage anymore between us anymore. But then he tells me that he still loves me, cares for me and can't live without me. I have also found him... Continue Reading →
How can I accept that?
Question : I have gone through a very painful and traumatic period in my life. And I just can't seem to accept what I had to go through. The experience has crushed me from within. I have tried very hard to forgive the people involved and to let go of the past. But I have... Continue Reading →
Forcing Happiness
Question : I have gone through a lot in my life. I usually tend to get into a depressive mood very easily. Lot of my relatives and friends ask me to focus on the positive and focus on doing things that make me happy. They even tell me that being depressive is not spiritual. I... Continue Reading →
What you resist persists
This post is in an extension of my earlier post "Meeting the Dark". We resist the 'Dark' in us. And the simple reason we do that is because we all want to be accepted, celebrated and belong to the tribe. This is the deepest conditioning that every human is born with. And we would do... Continue Reading →
Meeting the ‘Dark’
This post is going to be metaphoric in nature. And so while you read this post, I would like you to think in symbolism. 'Light' and 'Dark' are symbolic words. They are not absolute. Many religions talk about Light and Dark in absolute terms. The popular belief is that 'dark' is evil and bad. However,... Continue Reading →
Difficult People
Question : There are some people I meet who somehow always pick up little things I might say and make it a big deal. It is always so much of stress to be in their presence. I never know when that person would pounce on me, when he/she would misunderstand me and 'put words in... Continue Reading →
The Buddha’s wife
He left her in the middle of the night, the night their son was born. When she heard the news she was devastated. Yet, she did not complain. But her life lost all meaning. The only reason for her to live now was her son. She wanted him to grow up to be a man... Continue Reading →
Dependence or Support??
Question : I am a mother of 2 kids. I am currently going through a separation with my husband, after 12 years of marriage. I had given up my career when I chose to be a mother and was dependent on my husband for the last 12 years. It started out as financial dependency, but... Continue Reading →
Hate is not the opposite of Love
We have often been taught that "I hate you" is the opposite of "I love you". So if you love someone you cannot hate them. And if you hate someone you cannot love them. Sadly, that's not always the case. As humans, we are very complex and sophisticated emotional beings. And very often we find ourselves... Continue Reading →
Getting past the Past
Question : There are some negative memories in my life that I just can't get over! The moment I think of it I seem to just spiral down into a negative state and it seems as if the rest of my day is just a total disaster. How do I get out of this state?... Continue Reading →
The Violet Tree 