Does the Law of Attraction (LOA) make you feel like you are being Blamed & Shamed?
I’m sure many of us have read ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne or listened to Abraham Hicks, Wayne Dyer and many others talk about how we keep attracting into our life everything that we experience – the good and the not so good.
I too have read their philosophy and deeply believe in their words. I think there is a deep wisdom in what they have to say. I have spent many years working with patterns in my own life and observing how and where these patterns originate from. I have spent time in realising and acknowledging that many of these patterns were things that I had created unconsciously. And these patterns were merely following me unconsciously to create unpleasant experiences today.
The Law of Attraction is a powerful tool. However, powerful tools usually have a tendency to be dangerous too (when used in an insensitive manner, of course).
Over the years, I have come across many practitioners who use these beautiful tenets to unconsciously Blame and Shame their clients. I started to observe that many people who practice LOA were genuinely trying to help, but somehow not able to connect with their clients. The intentions were always positive. But I think it was just a lapse in awareness that somebody in pain is in a different state of mind.
Here are some samples of what I mean by this –
1. Rose has discovered that her partner has been cheating on her. She is devastated. She is broken and lost. She doesn’t know where her life is headed. But she has been told that in some way she has attracted this betrayal upon herself. She has been told that something within her feels the need to go through this betrayal.
Rose is lost. She is left feeling that if she were different in some way, this might not have happened to her.
2. Percy has lost a lot of money in his business. A lot of people owe him money. He has not been able to recover it. Now all of those people have blocked him. Couple of them have even threatened to file a harassment charge against him if he continues to persist about his money. He has been told that he needs to reflect over what in his inner-space has caused this to happen over and over again. Percy leaves feeling horrible about himself. He now believes that it is all his fault that he has gotten into this mess. He feels further broken and victimised.
3. Maria has been in an abusive marriage for over 15 years. She has experienced Physical Violence multiple times and there is a lot of emotional abuse on a daily basis. She has been told that everything she sees in her life is because of her frequency. If she is operating in a lower frequency, she will keep getting stuck in those kind of experiences.
She now blames herself for the abuse that her marriage has brought to her and her kids.
Here’s what I wish to communicate through this post.
~ Are we Victim-Blaming or sometimes even Victim-Shaming while we use the Law of Attraction and its principles?
~ When somebody in pain comes to us seeking relief, is it really the right time to talk about the LOA? Or maybe the person in pain actually wants somebody to tell him/her that it is not really their fault. Maybe they are in need of Empathy and Compassion.
~ Is it a possibility that statements like “You need to raise your frequency” or “You attract everything you go through” can seem very oppressive when a person is deep in the midst of trauma and pain? I believe they need Support more than Philosophies about Life. There will come a time when Philosophy will be necessary. But maybe not yet…
~ Is LOA making us arrogant? Is it making us believe that we can control life and decide how it flows? Sometimes I sense the subtle message that “If we work on raising our frequency enough, we will not have any difficulty in life” OR “If I work on the reason why I keep getting rejected in relationships, I will never experience rejection again in my life.”
Is that really possible? Are we so “Big” that we can control the flow of life?
~ Is it possible to use LOA with Compassion, Humility and Surrender? Compassion to the fellow human being sitting in front of me. Humility and Surrender to the being called Life. The truth is that what happened to the other can happen to us as well. None of us are holier or more special than another. Life has a flow and wisdom of its own. If we really start to question life, I am not sure if we would really get life fully. I believe we can at best surrender and have faith that it will be a happy ending for us.
P.S. – Having said all of this, when I study Abraham Hicks, Rhonda Byrne, Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay and others, I know that they used the philosophy with Compassion and Sensitivity. I think the philosophy gets diluted when it starts reaching the masses.